I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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