i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
