Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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