Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
