I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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