Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I don't deserve a penis
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
