Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize