It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
