My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize