I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
