Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
