I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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