I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
