Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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