I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
