Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
