yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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