Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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