What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
