You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
