im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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