Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
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