1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
no, he came in my armpit
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He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
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I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize