I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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