Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
