Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
