Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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