is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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