Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
