wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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