remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
