We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
