Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm passing your future prison.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
