I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize