I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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