i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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