i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
