sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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