i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
