I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
