I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
