Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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