There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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