I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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