Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
we made out on top of his cat.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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