They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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