Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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