Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
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she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize