We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
