Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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