that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
