yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
