sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
