Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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