Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
