Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
