oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
