Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
