i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
