we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
