When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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